Definition

I’ve been thinking about what I want Salty Island Mama to be. 

I began by researching blogs. Research is always my go-to. I love information but there is SO much stuff out there. I don’t recommend reading any of it, really. It all inevitably ends with some sort of recommendation about how to develop a brand and increase readership. I think that’s supposed to be the goal of blogs these days.  I started feeling totally overwhelmed with all of the rules and suggestions and almost just said to hell with the entire thing.

In trying to figure out what I want this blog to be I have actually had more luck with what I don’t want it to become. Typical. Why can’t my brain just work in drive? I always have to do things in reverse for them to make sense. If you’re ever looking for me, make sure to check the longest way around possible. I’m pretty sure that’s where I’ll be!

I don’t want it to be some sort of angsty journal. I tend to get a little too serious sometimes and overthink things too much. I get wordy and say too much. I like to write to deal with my feelings and I am going to try hard not to use this page as my therapeutic dumping ground. I can’t promise that it won’t happen from time to time but I promise to try to regulate myself!

I certainly don’t want it to become some preachy blog that makes people feel like I think I know it all. God knows I most certainly don’t know it all about a damned thing and I’d actually like to keep it that way. As soon as people start thinking you’re an expert on anything is when it’s impossible to get any peace. People are either asking lots of questions or criticizing. I’d like neither, thank you. Plus, preachy people are annoying.

It’s definitely not going to be a platform for some social media fake perfect life. At the risk of violating promise number one, I will try to always keep it real. Sometimes how great things are may make you want to puke and sometimes I may be a little too salty and make you mad. Either way it’s going to be my truth and let’s be honest here, sometimes truth isn’t pretty. There are also times when it is really the most beautiful thing in the world. I’m happy to share both.

That leads me to what Salty Island Mama will be.

I adore my husband and my kids and I love to talk about them. There will most definitely be lots of mama and love stuff here.

I love my island and the life my husband and I have built here. Nantucket has been good to us and continues to amaze me in new ways with every year that passes. I've been on this rock for ten years and consider it my home. I love all of its nuances and contradictions, its compassion and its community. It's a part of who I am so I know it will be reflected here.

My kitchen is my happy place and feeding people I love is what I do, so there will absolutely be copious amounts of food talk. Cooking is my therapy and although I am NO chef by any means, it is something I have learned to do pretty well according to the people who frequent my table.

I’m on the cusp of some changes in my life and when I figure out how to word what I want to say I’ll write about those things, too. 

Teaching is something I love to do and although my outlet for that may be changing soon I am sure I will write about however I choose to focus that energy.

So there you have it, what Salty Island Mama will be and also what I will strive to keep it from becoming. I’m sure it will morph and change over time. I hope so, because that means I'll be learning a lot as I go!

Finding the Reason

Lesson number one when I was learning to write: have a purpose. 

Who was my audience? What was the point? Why was it important? Make me care, my high school journalism teacher used to say.

I keep asking myself why I feel the need to sit down and write now. What is my purpose? Who is my audience? What is the point? Do I even want anyone to care?

I don’t know the answer to those questions.

Here is what I do know.

I am a mama of two girls. Little P is fifteen months old and Sweet S is seven. They are the center of my universe, my reason for breathing, my purpose in life. In spite of this, I still feel like I am just taking this motherhood thing day by day. I try to make my parenting decisions based in love first, above all. This doesn’t mean that I’m one of those moms that thinks my kids should do what makes them happy all the time and am super lovey dovey every second of every minute. It actually means the opposite. I love my girls so much that I want them to be able to handle both happiness and sadness and go through this life knowing that although they don’t always get what they want that they can still be happy. Making my decisions in love means I want my girls to be strong, not that I feel like they should never feel disappointed or sad.

My kids will respect themselves and others. They will BEHAVE. They will listen. They will, above all else, be KIND.

I am a strict mama. I’m no joke. It’s not easy being my kid, I am sure. Just ask Sweet S. She’ll tell you!

This is not for the new mom looking for direction or suggestions. I am not an authority on raising kids or having babies. I’m just faking it to make it every single day.

I am a wife to a wonderful man. P is one of those guys that everyone loves. He’s the nice guy, always there to help. He works hard and he works a lot. He provides for our family, takes care of our home, loves me and our girls, puts the toilet seat down, does laundry, and does it all without much complaint or asking for much from me.

He brings home two big bottles of wine at a time without judgment.

He’s the guy that my friends, when they see him with me, later tell me I’m so lucky to have because it’s so obvious that he loves me that much. It’s that crazy, irrational, I’d do anything in the whole wide world for you love.

No, I’m not just saying all of that. No, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have moments when we want to kill each other. No, that doesn’t mean he’s perfect.

But he’s close. Oh, so close.

I’m grateful for him every single second of every single day. I know I have it good. I know that people pray for this kind of love. I know that it’s not something I’m owed or that I’ve earned. I know that he is a gift.

This is not for the wife looking to help her marriage, or for advice. I have no advice. I have no suggestions for how to have a happy marriage. All I have is love and respect for the man I married and we work at it every single day.

I started writing when I was a sophomore in high school. I’d signed up for Journalism I when I moved to Bellevue, Nebraska because I was a good English student and my guidance counselor thought it might be a good place for me to make some friends. I thought he was nuts. He didn’t even know me. My fifteen year old self was convinced that no one really knew me, including that guy! I signed up anyway though.

He was right, as it turned out. I walked through the door of that classroom and breathed a sigh of relief. There, sitting on a table in the front of the room, was the very pregnant teacher who greeted me with the biggest smile and the kindest hello. She welcomed me, nurtured me from the start. She was one of those teachers who just knew what a kid needed. She taught me that my words mattered and that I could use them to tell a story, to make people listen. She taught me how to write and through that I learned how to use words to heal myself. Even when I wasn’t writing about myself or how I felt, I was writing for myself.

Over ten years later and I still, even though it’s not as frequent, write for myself.

Over ten years later and the friends I made there are still among some of my best.

So maybe I do have the answers to those questions.

Who is my audience? What is the point? Why is it important? Make me care.

It’s ME. I am the answer?

I’m writing for me. I’m writing because even though I may not know why, I feel like I NEED to right now. I don’t know what I will write about or even how often I’ll sit down and write. I like knowing that I have a place to do it, though. I have a spot in the big wide internet world that I’ve created for myself.

Yes.

It’s for ME.